Nostradamus Saves France from Gargantua

March 03, 2025  •  1 Comment

In the quaint town of Salon-de-Provence, amidst the lavender fields and vineyards of Occitania, lived the renowned seer, Nostradamus. Though his prophecies were often cryptic and confusing, his reputation as a man who could glimpse into the future was legendary.

One balmy summer evening, as Nostradamus gazed at the star-studded sky, a vision struck him with the force of a thunderbolt. He saw a monstrous creature, Gargantua, rising from the depths of the Mediterranean Sea, its size dwarfing even the largest galleons. Its insatiable appetite threatened to devour not only the towns and villages along the coast, but the entire country of France.

Nostradamus, ever the pragmatist, knew he had to act swiftly. He consulted his vast library of ancient texts, searching for any mention of Gargantua or a creature of similar ilk. Finally, in a dusty tome on forgotten culinary rituals, he found a recipe for a dish so pungent, so odiously aromatic, that it could repel even the most monstrous creature.

The recipe called for an assortment of ingredients that would make even the most seasoned chef nauseous: aged Roquefort cheese, rotten cabbage, pickled herring, and bottled frog flatulence. Nostradamus, with a grimace, gathered the ingredients and set about preparing the culinary concoction.

The resulting dish was a gastronomic abomination, a symphony of smells that could clear a room faster than a plague of locusts. But Nostradamus, determined to save his beloved France, sailed out into the Mediterranean in a small fishing boat, the pungent aroma of the dish wafting behind him like a noxious cloud.

As he neared the spot where he had seen Gargantua emerge, the monstrous creature rose from the depths, its gaping maw ready to engulf the hapless boat. But as soon as Gargantua caught a whiff of the dish, its eyes widened in horror, its nostrils flared, and it let out a bellow that could shake the very foundations of the earth.

With a speed that defied its immense size, Gargantua retreated back into the depths of the sea, the noxious aroma of the dish driving it away like a swarm of angry sea mice. Nostradamus, his boat rocking precariously from the creature's bellow, watched as Gargantua disappeared into the murky depths, never to be seen again.

News of Nostradamus's feat spread throughout France like wildfire. He was hailed as a hero, the savior of the nation. The King himself bestowed upon him the highest honors, and his name was forever etched in the annals of French history.


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Nicolas Raymond
Credits to Google Gemini for helping to compose this story.
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